Mommy's Potpourri

I'm tired. It's spring. New life makes me feel like death. I'm tired. My 15 month old still does not sleep. "Just let her cry" they say. No. No I won't, and that's ok. I can still be annoyed and I can still hope she somehow figures out how to sleep. Until then I will continue to feel silly as I lift my exhaustion up in prayer while other people have real problems. I am so tired. I need a vacation but I don't want to miss anything. I want a vacation but I don't want to have to trust anyone else because that in and of itself, is exhausting. I need to rest. But I can't. I can not rest. How can something requiring you to be so soft and nurturing, be so hard?  That's motherhood. Soft and Hard. Dying to self while nurturing growth. Navigating loneliness while surrounded by people. It's black, white and gray. There is ample room to find your fit as a mother, but the fit is snug. Once you find it, you know that is w

Finally! I feel like Spring has finally come to stay. My allergies are killing me, and my skin is reacting to sunlight in true Jess fashion. I'm pretty sure I have solar urticaria. WebMD told me so, so it must be legit. Seriously though, I do have all the symptoms and it seems to be getting worse with age. It's kind of awful but the fresh air is so nice, I can't stand to stay inside. I likely am going to have to get some sun protective clothing. If I was worried about being cool before, wearing a long-sleeve swimsuit really will seal my fate as a very, uncool mom. hahaha! Last week was so nice out that we took the whole week off from school and focused on enjoying the weather and preparing for Easter. The homeschooling community likes to say that instead of taking off for snow-days, we take off for sun-days. I do love that flexibility.  Today, we started back up with school again but the boys still spent most of the day outside in the fresh city air, and our day was pre

     This might sound ridiculous but I have been asking around to no avail.     My friends, who are around the same age as my early-thirties self, are of no help when posed this question. I ask, and everything gets quiet as we sit in the silence, waiting for the magic answer. It doesn't come. I have asked women older than me who can give me no concrete direction. No light bulb moment. So I ask you, blogosphere:  At what point, do you feel like a real grown-up?       When my mom was my age, I was around...10. When I was 10 I  thought my mom knew all the things. If my Mom didn't know then my dad (who hadn't celebrated his 35th birthday yet) DEFINITELY knew. No question. I had complete faith in my parent's decision making and parenting skills. They had it together. They were adults.      You would think that with 4 children I would feel like an adult, but here is the truth: I have no idea what I am doing. I am surrounded by other people with kids who also h

     Phew. Second post this year. We have officially made it, ladies and gents. So, upon further reflection on whether or not to resurrect Mommy's Potpourri from the blog grave, I thought of a few things: I could use a hobby. I'm sure you have seen those articles talking about how adult women need to have hobbies and stay true to themselves and pursue their passions. Right? (Or do those only get sent to me by people who know that I have no life outside of my house? Ha!!) Blogging is fun. I like it. I could totally be a blog hobbyist. A bloggy-ist, if you will.   Does blogging about my life inside of my house count as a hobby? Ok so how concerned should I be that I have four kids and zero hobbies? How much does a ukulele cost? What if I put my learning how to play the ukulele in my blog that is now only MOSTLY about things that happen inside of my house (because I will play said ukulele outside, in the park)?      Now that I feel really wonderful and positive about mys

     Well, I fought the urge to create a completely new blog and decided to update this trusty old dumping ground of musings and stories. I am not sure what this will end up being, if anything at all other than a fun website to look back on in a few years, before websites become obsolete altogether. The truth is, I really enjoy hearing the sound of my fingers tapping away at the computer keys. It makes me feel like I am doing something productive, even though I am not.      Here I sit, at 11:40pm on a Tuesday night and I wonder what exactly tomorrow will bring. It's strange to be able to predict with almost complete accuracy the grand scheme of the day, but also not know what quirks lie ahead. For instance today, I knew that the kids would be going outside to play. I did not know that before bed my 4 year old would claim to have broken his leg while outside and beg me to carry him up the stairs to his room (which I did). I did know that we would start a new language arts curricul

Wouldn't it be nice if I could update this blog more than once a year? Ha! Well we have been busy and I forget passwords to things all the time, so ... Anyway, wanted to update a little bit about our homeschooling journey. Last year we did Five In a Row and loved it. It was a little more teacher prep than I preferred, but well worth it. Anthony and I still have conversations about things we learned last year using that curriculum. This year, after learning of our newest addition to be added to our family in February, I wanted to switch to a curriculum that was still literature based, but more "put together" if you will. So we went with Heart of Dakota. There are some wonderful things about this curriculum so far. Of course the emphasis of books, and the gentle approach are what I love most about it. I also love that I can open my teacher's guide 20 minutes or so ahead of time, and be ready for the morning with very little prep. The theology is a little moralis