Mommy's Potpourri

Ya'll I need to lose weight. I feel awful. I am currently sitting at a weight that I have only been while pregnant. And no, I am definitely not pregnant. See, I have been battling to manage my anxiety. Unfortunately one of the side effects of my medication is weight gain. I am also attempting to wean my daughter, which is also contributing to things. Between those 2 things and my love of junk food, I have gained 30lbs. In the last 3-4 months.  30. pounds. I never understood why women are so weird about sharing their ages or weights, so for good measure and the sake of transparency here it is. I am 32 years old and weigh 194lbs. To be clear, this is not about how I look. It really isn't. I don't love how my clothes (don't really) fit, but this is more about how I feel than anything else. Here was the last straw: 2 days ago, I sprained my neck carrying laundry up the stairs.  Yep! Injured myself while doing housework. My body is freaking ...

I'm tired. It's spring. New life makes me feel like death. I'm tired. My 15 month old still does not sleep. "Just let her cry" they say. No. No I won't, and that's ok. I can still be annoyed and I can still hope she somehow figures out how to sleep. Until then I will continue to feel silly as I lift my exhaustion up in prayer while other people have real problems. I am so tired. I need a vacation but I don't want to miss anything. I want a vacation but I don't want to have to trust anyone else because that in and of itself, is exhausting. I need to rest. But I can't. I can not rest. How can something requiring you to be so soft and nurturing, be so hard?  That's motherhood. Soft and Hard. Dying to self while nurturing growth. Navigating loneliness while surrounded by people. It's black, white and gray. There is ample room to find your fit as a mother, but the fit is snug. Once you find it, you know that is w...

Finally! I feel like Spring has finally come to stay. My allergies are killing me, and my skin is reacting to sunlight in true Jess fashion. I'm pretty sure I have solar urticaria. WebMD told me so, so it must be legit. Seriously though, I do have all the symptoms and it seems to be getting worse with age. It's kind of awful but the fresh air is so nice, I can't stand to stay inside. I likely am going to have to get some sun protective clothing. If I was worried about being cool before, wearing a long-sleeve swimsuit really will seal my fate as a very, uncool mom. hahaha! Last week was so nice out that we took the whole week off from school and focused on enjoying the weather and preparing for Easter. The homeschooling community likes to say that instead of taking off for snow-days, we take off for sun-days. I do love that flexibility.  Today, we started back up with school again but the boys still spent most of the day outside in the fresh city air, and our day was pre...

     This might sound ridiculous but I have been asking around to no avail.     My friends, who are around the same age as my early-thirties self, are of no help when posed this question. I ask, and everything gets quiet as we sit in the silence, waiting for the magic answer. It doesn't come. I have asked women older than me who can give me no concrete direction. No light bulb moment. So I ask you, blogosphere:  At what point, do you feel like a real grown-up?       When my mom was my age, I was around...10. When I was 10 I  thought my mom knew all the things. If my Mom didn't know then my dad (who hadn't celebrated his 35th birthday yet) DEFINITELY knew. No question. I had complete faith in my parent's decision making and parenting skills. They had it together. They were adults.      You would think that with 4 children I would feel like an adult, but here is the truth: I have no idea what I am doing....

     Phew. Second post this year. We have officially made it, ladies and gents. So, upon further reflection on whether or not to resurrect Mommy's Potpourri from the blog grave, I thought of a few things: I could use a hobby. I'm sure you have seen those articles talking about how adult women need to have hobbies and stay true to themselves and pursue their passions. Right? (Or do those only get sent to me by people who know that I have no life outside of my house? Ha!!) Blogging is fun. I like it. I could totally be a blog hobbyist. A bloggy-ist, if you will.   Does blogging about my life inside of my house count as a hobby? Ok so how concerned should I be that I have four kids and zero hobbies? How much does a ukulele cost? What if I put my learning how to play the ukulele in my blog that is now only MOSTLY about things that happen inside of my house (because I will play said ukulele outside, in the park)?      Now that I feel really wonder...

     Well, I fought the urge to create a completely new blog and decided to update this trusty old dumping ground of musings and stories. I am not sure what this will end up being, if anything at all other than a fun website to look back on in a few years, before websites become obsolete altogether. The truth is, I really enjoy hearing the sound of my fingers tapping away at the computer keys. It makes me feel like I am doing something productive, even though I am not.      Here I sit, at 11:40pm on a Tuesday night and I wonder what exactly tomorrow will bring. It's strange to be able to predict with almost complete accuracy the grand scheme of the day, but also not know what quirks lie ahead. For instance today, I knew that the kids would be going outside to play. I did not know that before bed my 4 year old would claim to have broken his leg while outside and beg me to carry him up the stairs to his room (which I did). I did know that we would start a n...

Wouldn't it be nice if I could update this blog more than once a year? Ha! Well we have been busy and I forget passwords to things all the time, so ... Anyway, wanted to update a little bit about our homeschooling journey. Last year we did Five In a Row and loved it. It was a little more teacher prep than I preferred, but well worth it. Anthony and I still have conversations about things we learned last year using that curriculum. This year, after learning of our newest addition to be added to our family in February, I wanted to switch to a curriculum that was still literature based, but more "put together" if you will. So we went with Heart of Dakota. There are some wonderful things about this curriculum so far. Of course the emphasis of books, and the gentle approach are what I love most about it. I also love that I can open my teacher's guide 20 minutes or so ahead of time, and be ready for the morning with very little prep. The theology is a little moralis...

What you are about to see is nothing fancy. It does not "measure-up" whatsoever to the pinterest-y crafty, elegant school lessons that you may see around the blogosphere, but it is real. This is basically what we try to do every day.  We have a memory verse we memorize and discuss for the week. This is this week's verse (and probably next week's as well). Both Anthony and Lukie do a great job memorizing verses. Crafts are not something we do every day, but today we used watercolors to paint leaves to go on our "thankful tree". My friend Jess showed me hers that she did last year, and it seemed like such a great idea to help promote attitudes of thankfulness. Paint the leaves, then think of things you are thankful for and write one on each leaf. Luke is thankful for Mickey Mouse, and Anthony is thankful for Mommy, and Sunday's "because of church and Sunday Night Football." Getting those creative juices flowing! As w...

     In about a month, we are unofficially officially starting school. I say unofficially because I do not have to report to any school district yet, but we are definitely starting.      I don't remember if I documented it here, but I have been researching for months, to find the perfect curriculum. I don't want anything too rigid, or full of seatwork. This is kindergarten afterall. I know in a lot of circles people say not to even bother with a curriculum with a kindergartener, but honestly some structure would do us some good. I don't know if either one of us (me or Anthony) could take another year of me just flying by the seat of my pants. He craves a tight schedule-- which will never happen because I avoid a tight schedule like the plague. But I do want him to thrive, and him thriving means that I need to have a clear, predictable direction that I can articulate to him. I am truly a type B personality, teaching and mothering a type A. And it is HARD. ...

Happy Mother's Day! We had a wonderful day, just spending time together outside, and my sweet husband made me a really delicious steak dinner that I devoured. ooooh it was so good. Here are some pictures from today! Me and "Crazy Baby"... oh boy when will I be able to face the fact that he is not going to be a baby forever? (and he might not actually be a baby now) who knows!  Was so excited that Ian got a couple of good pictures of me with all 3 of them. Not many of those exist! Ethan loves pictures. Need some ham for that cheese? And it's not a complete day until  Luke gets himself in some sort of pickle. Today he climbed a tree and did not want to jump out of it. "hmmm... what am I supposed to do?" "Guess I'll just hang around here..." "...forever?" The 3 muskateers. I wouldn't be able to celebrate Mother's Day without these little dudes. So thankf...

Today Anthony had his very first T-Ball game! It was so adorable, and hilarious. Kids are so cute. One kid actually hit the ball, then ran out into the field, grabbed it and threw it to first base. I felt like we were in a Disney movie. Here are some pictures of the fun! Anthony is so excited to be #1!!! He cracked everyone up. Right before he was getting ready to hit, he tells everyone "I'm about to BLAST this ball!" hahaha!!! Running to home plate! Don't ask me how, but Ian got roped in to coaching the team. hahaha! Should be fun!                                         Lukie was hilarious. One moment, he was playing on the big hill, the next minute he snuck in line and had a batting helmet on, trying to get a swing in.                                ...

Hey there kiddo. You're cute. Can you do me a little favor though? Can you please stop getting stuck in your crib? Arms, legs, feet, knees, elbows... goodness gracious what are you doing in there?  You cannot escape by going through. Today after hearing that increasingly familiar wail of dispair, I ran in to find you really really stuck. I don't even know how you got your knee that far through the slats of your crib. Incredible. I could not get it free and we were both starting to panic. But then, I remembered something I had seen when I was a kid, and a lightbulb went off. I greased up your chubby knee with vegetable oil to get you free. Desperate times, indeed. To be completely honest, it was my last resort before calling the fire department. Yes. I would have called the fire department, because amputation is like one of my top 5 all-time-biggest fears (right up there with being locked in a car underwater, and million legged bugs.)You can thank me later, when you still ...

I know this is not the most interesting post, but I am writing it for my own reference more than anything else. Here are my curriculum ideas as of right now: Anthony needs/enjoys being challenged in math and reading. So, I want to make sure our curriculum has strong math and gives him lots of reading practice. Math U See  - after some research, I think this program will be perfect for my smart and wiggly worms. I really like how the guy on the video explains the concepts, and I know that Anthony will too. I also believe Luke will do well with this program as well, when his time comes :) Five In A Row  I also want to make sure that our curriculum can easily be adjusted to include my younger 2 children. This curriculum seems PERFECT for that purpose. Also, it has tons of reading (of GOOD children's literature) and seems easy on me as far as prep time/materials/ etc. goes. At the same time though, there seems to be a lot of room to create fun activities and be inspired by...

Researching curriculum for homeschooling my son come the fall, and I feel like my head is going to explode. Really. My head might explode. And Pinterest. Don't even get me started. I am all for crafty moms (and fully accept that I will never ever be one), but holy cow! Homeschooling crafty moms take things to a whole new level. One that I will never be on. Goodness gracious. Friday and Saturday I will be attending a homeschool convention, and I am hoping it is not too overwhelming. Because I feel pretty overwhelmed right now. Hopefully one day I will be a homeschooling veteran, and look back on this post and laugh. Hopefully I will whisper to myself...'Calm down. Deep breath. It's going to be alright.' Because honestly, as I see many bloggers and experienced homeschoolers telling me to relax, it is really difficult. *Breathe.

Happy Birthday to my sweet Lukie-bear! Our tough little cuddle-bug is 3 years old today! For birthdays, we always decorate the house with crepe paper, and a floor full of balloons. So simple, but they love it. On Saturday we are going to have a small family party, that I have not thought/planned out yet... oops! I cannot wait to give him is new bike later on today! He is going to love it! I made the mistake of telling Anthony to keep it a surprise. Let's just say he did not. At all. In fact, I was inspired to give him a middle name. Which he thinks is hilarious and is oddly proud of. Say hello to Anthony "Spoiler" Johnson (wearing one Mommy-sock and one Daddy-sock) HAHA! I think Luke will still be surprised and excited though.  I cannot believe he is already 3. Of course I keep thinking back to the afternoon I went into labor with him. My poor friend, Leeta, saw me yelling in pain before heading to the hospital. I was so embarrassed. I tried to h...