I have figured out the pattern. 3 weeks out of the month Anthony listens relatively well. Then there is the 1 week where he decides to test everything he has ever been told. I actually questioned if he had some kind of hearing impairment because I have been talking to the air. Nothing registers in his mind unless I throw in the word 'popsicle' or mention watching the movie "Cars".
Needless to say, this week has been one of those weeks. With the Lord's help I have had a grip on my patience and tone of voice - although I have screamed in a pillow more than once.
Tonight, at the suggestion of a seasoned mommy-friend, I decided to put the boys to bed a half hour earlier than usual. This of course did not go over too smoothly and I ended up laying in bed with my 2 year old, rubbing his back and watching his little eyes grow heavy. (While silently hoping the giggles and squeals from my almost-one year old did not keep him from dreamland for too much longer.)
As I watched him falling asleep and listened to my littlest one squeal and play, I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe that God chose me to be the mommy of such wonderful little gifts. I was so exhausted from the day, but so thankful at the same time. I looked at my little boy and said to him, "I love you Anthony." He whispered back, "I love you too, mommy."
Well of course I started crying. All the little battles that were starting to wear away at me were worth it in that moment. Just to hear those little words with such meaning behind them did some kind of healing work that I can't really explain. I laid there watching him fall asleep, and wiped my tears on his blanket. He looked at me with those big gray eyes and said, "No, MY blanket!!!" Grabbed my impromptu hanky, and rolled over in a huff. It was like a scene out of a movie or something. I had to laugh.
Oh, toddler-hood. I am trying to treasure it but am having a difficult time believing it will actually be missed.
Needless to say, this week has been one of those weeks. With the Lord's help I have had a grip on my patience and tone of voice - although I have screamed in a pillow more than once.
Tonight, at the suggestion of a seasoned mommy-friend, I decided to put the boys to bed a half hour earlier than usual. This of course did not go over too smoothly and I ended up laying in bed with my 2 year old, rubbing his back and watching his little eyes grow heavy. (While silently hoping the giggles and squeals from my almost-one year old did not keep him from dreamland for too much longer.)
As I watched him falling asleep and listened to my littlest one squeal and play, I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe that God chose me to be the mommy of such wonderful little gifts. I was so exhausted from the day, but so thankful at the same time. I looked at my little boy and said to him, "I love you Anthony." He whispered back, "I love you too, mommy."
Well of course I started crying. All the little battles that were starting to wear away at me were worth it in that moment. Just to hear those little words with such meaning behind them did some kind of healing work that I can't really explain. I laid there watching him fall asleep, and wiped my tears on his blanket. He looked at me with those big gray eyes and said, "No, MY blanket!!!" Grabbed my impromptu hanky, and rolled over in a huff. It was like a scene out of a movie or something. I had to laugh.
Oh, toddler-hood. I am trying to treasure it but am having a difficult time believing it will actually be missed.
Hang in there, mama! You are doing a great job with those boys. I know all too well how long and exhausting the days and battles are but keep the faith. You battle his little will because you are the mama and you know things he needs to learn. Things he will learn eventually. And just like time has a way of erasing the pain of pregnancy and labor, time has a way of erasing the exhaustion and frustration of toddlerhood. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this encouragement. It is so so appreciated!
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